Bella's Vampire paradise
by Georgiana1234
Summary: Find out what mischief Bella gets up to when Edward's hunting.
1. Bella's vampire paradise

A Vampire Paradise.

"Yes, its here!" screeched Bella at the bewildered postman standing on the doorstep. He was not accustomed to having overexcited teenage girls dressed head to toe in black wearing a high collared cloak and fangs greeting him on Sunday mornings. He paused for a second watching the girl clawing eagerly at the box with long, red nails, wondering whether he should ask He decided against it and merely held out the form for her to sign. Bella took it from him and scribbled her initials before shoving it back into his hands, lugging the gigantic box into the house and slamming the door.

Bella spent the next ten minutes or so, bit by bit carrying the package up the narrow stairs of the house to her room. Finally she slammed her bedroom door and stood to admire her work so far. Black cloth draped the walls and window. An old, black laundry cupboard Bella had found at the dump stood in one corner, a large cross painted on its lid to resemble her coffin. Candles were positioned on every surface making the room glow eerily. Bella cackled evilly as she tore the cardboard from the large high backed chair. Black, with a red upholstered seat. Bella positioned it in front of the window and went to her dressing table to complete the scene. She picked up a can of red paint and started to add drips from the corner of her mouth. She realised that Edward would probably kill her if he came back and the room was still like this but what else was she supposed to do while he went hunting?

There was a knock on the door and Bella dropped the can of paint making a rather convincing and completely unintentional blood stain on the floor. The knock came again and then Edward's voice from the other side of the door.

"Bella? Bella?" he knocked again. "Your window was black so I came round this way." Bella was frantically trying to cover her room up. She grabbed her quilt from under her bed and threw it over the chair in a panic and started to tare down the hangings on the wall.

"Bella, what's gong on in there?" asked Edward a hint of panic in his voice.

"Nothing, I'll be right out." gasped Bella, flinging her cloak out the window and her fangs under her bed.

"Bella Swan. If you don't come out immediately I'll break this door down." threatened Edward. "One. . ." Bella tried desperately to think of a place to hide her 'Coffin'. "Two. . ." Bella pulled off her fake red nails one by one. "Three." Edward finished and there was an explosion of wood. Edward peered through the newly made hole in the door at his girlfriend, sitting on a coffin with blood dripping from the corner of her mouth, dressed all in black as blood ran along the floor. He gasped.

"Bella! What have you done to Charlie?" Bella gave him a nervous smile.


	2. Behind closed drawbridges

**BONUS CHAPTER (i.e. not really good enough to be a oneshot but publishable)**

**Behind closed drawbridges**

"Bella I don't think this is healthy." Rosalie said trying to untangle herself from the long strips of black muslin that dangled from her arms. "Besides if Edward found out…"

"He won't!" said Bella applying melting the last of the wax dripping down the side of an immense candelabra which made the centre piece to her vampire banquet. "He's hunting remember. Alice you ready?" Alice who was squaring up the shot with her hands nodded, stepping behind the camera.

"I still don't understand why we all have to be included in your twisted fetishes." Emmett grumbled (first removing his false fangs.)

"Yes, I agree Bella. I could be saving lives." Carlisle took his position behind the fountain of blood which toppled slightly covering Jasper in watered down ketchup.

"Careful dear, that's your best tux" Jasper grinned and winked at Bella. Jasper had been the only one of the Cullens who had encouraged Bella, mainly due to his dramatic tendencies.

"Look, I'm a girl who is friends with vampires it would be weird if we didn't do this once in a while." She tied rope round her legs. "Pull me up Emmett." Emmett stood grumpily on the landing.

"I still don't understand why I can't join in" Emmett grumbled.

"You get too into it, it's scary." Rosalie shouted back. "Now tie the mortal up so we can get on with this bloodthirsty carnage!"

"I get to into it?" Emmett said incredulously but hoisted Bella up into the air all the same and she swung precariously up side down over the glorious display. Bella had to admit Alice had out done herself. A fountain of blood, gothic chandeliers laden with skulls, a blood stained Persian rug and even a suit of armour which stood in the corner, brandishing five foot high axe.

"Everyone get into position!" Alice yelled, clapping her hands. "You know the look I'm going for, Vampires: What really happened being closed drawbridges…Yup, a little to the right Jasper! Yes! Esme try to look menacing, no menacing not constipated! Rosalie that's scarily realistic, you do really look like you hate her. Emmett don't swing Bella so much, I can't focus the camera!"

"You do realise…" Jasper whispered to Carlisle through both sets of his teeth. "That this is the point where Edward walks in and doesn't speak to us for about six months."

"Yup…" Carlisle whispered anxiously. "But it hasn't happened yet."

"Why the hell not?" Jasper sounded slightly scared. "That's what happens, we do something bad, we try and cover it up, we fail, we get broodily blanked for an indefinite time. That's how it has been for centuries well except that one time when Rosalie threw the piano in the…"

"Quiet over there, you're supposed to look like centuries old bloodthirsty vampires, all I'm getting from you is century old tea thirsty old ladies. Give me some fangs!!"

"I don't like Alice when she's like this." Rosalie grumbled to jasper who was over her shoulder pretending to ravish her (Rosalie was momentarily switching her character to ravished mortal). "The only reason I agreed to this is because I knew Edward would burst in halfway through, I mean it's always been that way except from that time when I threw the piano in the…"

Bella dangled happily upside down, how happy she was. There were ravishing vampires all around her, the candlelight was bouncing off her powdered cheeks and ketchup ran from the nape of her neck, dripping from her chin onto Carlisle's head (unbeknown to him). But there was something missing, something was not quite right. Ahhh yes…Edward, shouldn't he be bursting in any time soon that was how it always was well except that time Rosalie had told her about. What happened again, she had thrown the piano into…she couldn't quite recall. She hissed at Carlisle who stretched his neck up to her on the pretence of lapping the oozing would at her throat.

"Where's Edward?" she whispered.

"Hunting I think." Carlisle whispered back. "Don't worry he'll be here soon. He usually is anyway…"

"I hope so…" Esme started but Bella couldn't hear what she said.

"What?"

"I said HE'S ALWAYS COME BEFORE, WELL APART FROM THAT TIME WHERE ROSALIE THREW THE PIANO OFF THE CLIFF IN LA PUSH!"

"I KNEW THAT WAS YOU!" Screamed Edward, leaping from inside the suit of armour straight onto surprised looking Rosalie.

The battle that followed was not a pretty one, but it was a credit to Alice that she kept on taking photos during the whole thing. She stared at the newly developed black and white prints later that night. There they were, in a proper vampire brawl, the desperate lover frantically avenging his love (it was too bad it was the piano and not Bella) and there, in the midst of all the destruction and heartbreak, was Bella, swinging serenely over the scene, a blissful smile on her face.

**AN: So there you have it, not the best chapter I've ever written but it's something. It's weird though cos now two of Edward's prize possessions have faced the peril of that cliff…hmmm…**


End file.
